Only great minds can read this

This is weird, but interesting!

If you can raed this, you hvae a

sgtrane mnid too

Can you raed this? Olny 55

plepoe out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod

aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was

rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid,

aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at

Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it

dseno’t mtaetr in what oerdr

the ltteres in a word are, the

olny iproamtnt tihng is that the

frsit and last ltteer be in the

rghit pclae. The rset can be a

taotl mses and you can still

raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This

is bcuseae the huamn mnid

deos not raed ervey lteter by

istlef, but the word as a wlohe.

Azanmig huh? Yaeh and we

awlyas tghuhot slpeling was

ipmorantt!

So, fellow victorians, you thought that your tests and exams were extremely difficult, and disappointed with your poor performance? Felt as though you are an idiot?

Well, think again You are better than what you think, so continue to strive hard!

The day of the fools is almost upon us; I bet you’ve had an inkling of some practical joke you’d thought about playing on your friends, or planned a couple of props you were going to dunk on that unsuspecting House member (oops!)…

But I, unashamed to declare my habit, was OCD enough to accidentally participate in a surreptitious full dress rehearsal that (thankfully) went unnoticed.

Laugh all you want, but we’ll see who’s laughing on 1st April.

In fact, it wasn’t meant to be a joke, and it sure wasn’t funny that I’d been coerced (by dystopicutopia nonetheless; here’s a shoutout to my fellow blogger *wink*) into joining her class for a Chemistry tutorial on Atomic Structure during MY double period break.

And so the joke began, as I met with a plethora of fortunate coincidences that saved my skin from going, ‘oh, happy early April fools’!’ to the teacher:

-the usual Chemistry teacher was absent, and a relief teacher (as ignorant of my out-of-place presence as ever) glossed me over like a regular apple in a basket

-someone in the class was absent, so when the pair work began, I managed not to be an invisible third wheel

-I knew a bunch of the people in that class, and they bothered enough (or so little, depending on how you looked at it) not to blow my cover

I’d contemplated my escape route if I’d been found out: I’d pretend to answer a phone call (presumably from a concerned classmate), then jump up and go (in this totally airhead voice), ‘ohmigosh, like what am I doing here? I’ve been in the wrong lesson this whole time?!’ and stomp out:) Thankfully, it didn’t come to that…

Isn’t that a wonderful dress rehearsal for an Oscar-winning performance during an April Fools’?! I shall so do that again this Thurs, only my timetable doesn’t fit, so it doesn’t matter that I’m telling you all of this on the school blog.

And if there’re any copycat pranks, I’d be flattered.

I don’t normally post these things, but I found this too good to give it a pass.

Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, across the ages, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Here’s a little 50 page long comic strip on how you can play your part in ensuring Singapore remains safe from terrorist attacks. You can downlod the pdf file below:

FIGHT TERRORISM? DON’T JOKE!

In the light of the weekend coupled with my lack of desire to sleep, I went on my random websurfing spree on Saturday night, and stumbled on Omegle, a site which allows one-on-one chats with a random stranger. Chats are as anonymous as you want them to be – I mean, everyone goes on with the nickname Stranger.

Under my cloak of internet anonymity, I had a rather interesting time talking to various people across the globe. Here are some excerpts.

I decided to conduct a mini social experiment and I typed the generic statement ” You know, when one of us clicks “disconnect,” it’s almost a certainty that we will never speak to one another again. Doesn’t that make this moment special?” (By the way, I got this statement stumbling around the web as well) I spent roughly two hours on Omegle chatting with this opening line and I’ve chosen a few to showcase, completely unedited.

I lost the file for this so I copied it out onto MS Word.

 Ever wondered why the library is so packed in the months of March, July, October and November? Here’s a clue: it starts with E and ends with a S (or U). (:

I do sincerely believe that i ain’t the only one rushing out my work at this hour of the sunday night.

Sometimes I wonder where did all those hours disappear to. It’s almost surreal how so many hours out of the 24 I am given daily dissipates into thin air, most of which I do not even know where to. This weekend has been full of mysterious disappearance of hours for me, and having piles of work certainly did not help in bettering the situation.

So here I was for the last ? hours, sitting at my computer and doing research for ONE of the many essays that I’m to write. Occasionally I’d take breaks and surf around , and as i was at youtube.com, I came across a short and stupid but interesting video. If you’r wondering how those three words fit to describe one video,click the link below:

The Distraction Machine

And the best irony is that I am obliged to go onto the distraction machine AND use youtube to watch the video.

Have a good week ahead everyone!

For those who don’t know, a palindrome is a word, phrase or sentence that reads the same forward and backwards. Examples of such would be “Anna” or “Madam, I’m Adam”. Thinking of such short phrases or words is hard enough, let alone an entire 224-word poem. However, that’s exactly what Demitri Martin has managed to do.

“Dammit I’m Mad”

by

Demetri Martin

Dammit I’m mad.
Evil is a deed as I live.
God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.
To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.
Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?
Man, it is hot. I’m in it. I tell.
I am not a devil. I level “Mad Dog”.
Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,
In my halo of a mired rum tin.
I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.
Is evil in a clam? In a trap?
No. It is open. On it I was stuck.
Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.
Be still if I fill its ebb.
Ew, a spider… eh?
We sleep. Oh no!
Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.
Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.
Both, one… my names are in it.
Murder? I’m a fool.
A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,
A Goddam level I lived at.
On mail let it in. I’m it.
Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!
A loss it is alas (sip). I’d assign it a name.
Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:
“Sir, I deliver. I’m a dog”
Evil is a deed as I live.
Dammit I’m mad.

Except for punctuation, these 224 words read exactly the same both ways.